Friday, 23 March 2007

hmmm

I want to preface (can you preface after something has been published?) the previous post by saying that yes I'm in an unhappy place (have been for a while) and yes, I do realise that I probably will offend someone (if not several someones) and no, that isn't my intention or desire. This in't even a delightfully passive aggressive way of being mean to my friends or a 'woe is me' thing

This is a way for me to get things off my chest and figure things out.
If you're pissy at me, let me know
I started my blog because I needed a place to rant, to get things off my chest in a way that didn't involve shouting at people.
If you think this is all about you, then may be it is. That's up to you to decide (dear god, I sound pompous)
This is an issue that has been bugging me for a while.
It just came to a head today.

I think what part of it is, is the lack of kindness and thoughtfullness I expect from people (myself included some days).

8 comments:

Wenchilada said...

Would you like some Twisties?




Ok, maybe not.


Feel better with that off your chest?

Baggy Trousers said...

I want to talk to you. I want to help. I'm not sure I can.
I'm pretty sure you don't want to let me.
Which is fine. You need the things you need, and I can accept that.

But I'm here if you need me.
Any time.

Gabrielle said...

I feel compelled to tell that I had not read this post before my drunken rant at you on Saturday night.
God, no wonder you looked so un-impressed.
Regardless of my inebraited state, I meant what I said.

SW

Miss D said...

Er, I just like you and am crap at getting your tent back to you and remembering anything datewise really ... Over here, quietly in the corner, shoving chocolate into the tent bag ...

Anything girl said...

I don't know what specifically has been going on for you at the moment. I can relate to how you're feeling. It's annoying, especially when you realise that it usually isn't deliberate or anything, it just happens. Sometimes because people think they are doing the right thing by giving you a watered down version of how they feel, or that their self-destructive and inconsiderate behaviour doesn't matter (because they don't understand what they actually mean to you, and if they are pissy at you you'd actually rather know than not know).

I apologise if I'm projecting my own experience onto what you're writing; I'm not trying to undermine you or anything, I just thought it might help to let you know I get what you're saying, I don't hold it against you, and I've had similar stuff happen to me and yes, it sux (the most recently being this very weekend...)

I'm over it too.

Miss Krin said...

Conversely, to flip this on its head, I need to thank you for the rant space and comfort you have provided recently. It has made a huge difference to my happiness and sanity a couple of times to have you there to listen and care and just to notice that stuff wasn't right.

Sometimes I couldn't tell you (or anyone) what it was, until I'd worked it out for myself. But knowing that someone noticed made a big, enormous difference to the feeling of sinking without any control.

And perhaps I have not been as outreachy and helpful in return. I won't apologise, since I'm not sure this would have been any different. All I can offer is that, perhaps selfishly, I've only had the energy recently to emotionally support one person, and that was me.

However, I did notice that stuff wasn't right. Not that this helps you now, but there was, and continues to be, a part that is worried about you. I've had to learn the difficult lesson recently of telling people when I need help and exactly what it is that I need. Care to come and visit and rant and grump and let me know what help you need?

DV said...

Thanks y'all.

I know I've got good friends, I just need to work out what they mean to me and I mean to them.

More often than not, I don't need big D&M conversations or emotional support or spoken validation, just someone to chat to or go out with or who will call and say hi or show up when invited or invite me over or shove chocolate into the tent bag :)

I'm not very good with words and I don't express how I feel very well with them, I do it through actions.

Having said that, waht you said on Saturday was fabulous SW and I did kind of need to hear it then.
I love how drunken ramblings can be oddly well-timed.

I'm a simple person really.

I just need my friends.

Miss D said...

Mr Nw rang while I was napping to arrange pick-up of tent bag. For this reason the tent was sent back without chocolate or your pressie attached, but I did have clothes on, which I hold to be an important accomplishment. I will accost you at Festival, with clothes AND booty! Some evenings, remembering clothes is about as much as I can manage ...