...my mum died of cancer (4/6/88)
I still miss her.
I wish I had have been older when it happened so then I would have had more time with her. I wish my memories were clearer. I wish I still didn't get upset about it. I wish I hadn't had 20yrs of saying 'It's okay...I'm mostly over it'
I'm glad I spent the evening at Meg's house drinking and playing dumb games with family. It felt appropriate. It felt right. I'd already had my cry. I didn't want to be alone or even just with Nw. I needed my sister there. I needed to see all te kids ther and get hugs and kisses from them. I neede all the love that was in that house to wash over me and make it better.
And now, I need to go to bed and wake up happier and less self-indulgent.