Saturday, 5 July 2008

20 years ago... mum died of cancer (4/6/88)

I still miss her.

I wish I had have been older when it happened so then I would have had more time with her. I wish my memories were clearer. I wish I still didn't get upset about it. I wish I hadn't had 20yrs of saying 'It's okay...I'm mostly over it'

I'm glad I spent the evening at Meg's house drinking and playing dumb games with family. It felt appropriate. It felt right. I'd already had my cry. I didn't want to be alone or even just with Nw. I needed my sister there. I needed to see all te kids ther and get hugs and kisses from them. I neede all the love that was in that house to wash over me and make it better.

And now, I need to go to bed and wake up happier and less self-indulgent.



anti ob said...

There are occasions upon which a little self-indulgence is more than a little justified. Sounds like the perfect way to mark the occasion; I'm glad you had them all at hand to make it easier.

Wenchilada said...

I wish I was there so I could give you a big hug.

Cherish what you have, it's a really special thing.