Thursday, 28 January 2010

mushy introspectiveness ahead

I was thinking the other night about how much my life has cahnged in the 4years since Torbyboy came along...

I have met people I may not have.
I have developed greater friendships with some and lost touch with others.
I have changed my priorities and my world view a few times.
I can no longer read/watch the news - too many dead babies.
I have become more insular.
I have worked hard at maintaining some semblance of my social life.
I realise how lucky I am to have the life that I do.
I have battled with depression and won (for now).
I have fallen more in love with my husband because of the way he is when he is with our son.
I have experienced more guilt and frustration and feelings of inadequacy and been more scared than I ever had pre-munchkin.
I have experienced more joy and love and beauty than I ever had as well.
I cannot imagine a life where I don't get to sit around in friends backyards watching the kids play and giggle and muck about.
I do not want to imagine a life where I don't get to pick my baby up from daycare and take him to swimming lessons before going home and playing a game, making dinner and then reading him stories and administering kisses.
I have become a lot less tolerant about some things and a lot more tolerant of others.
I now appreciate the beauty of alone time, the luxury of lying in bed all day and reading, the joy of popping down to the pub with some chums on a whim.
I am a lot more familiar with the workings of hospitals that I would ever have wanted to be.

I had thought that this is the life I chose, but at the time of choosing, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I'm glad we did it anyway.

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